Inteligence rating

i just finished a play tittled "The History Boys".
this play is about a group of boys being prepared for entrance exams for high education colleges. it is also about two teachers, an older one with exentic ways and a love of literature, the other a young guy who has a way to "beat" the mold of exam and entrance essays. he does this through an odd looking glass of histroy, and making radical claims about history and then rationalizing them. i read this play once now, ill have to read it more times, but my intial read told me this. i do not undertand the language. it is written in english, save the scene in french, but the hieghted speak and vocabulary of the play is lost oin me. i was told that this play is very funny and inteligently witty and great. i did not find it. i spent more time counting the words i didnt know than i tried finding the humor.
this play combined with the results i am reciveing in my first science based class in three semesters lead me to believe i have lost a portion of my intelligence. i have fallen from what i call smart. and what others call smart.
now people say that i am smart in many other respects, just not science. but thats where i use to be smart. i reacived a honerable mention in highschool for my scores in the science portion of the ACT. and now i am recieving low grades, and not understanding higher thought.
i can give you Shakespeare and Stanislavski
but i cannot name the three main parts of a shoulder socket, the hormoes that are secreted form the pitutary gland, or the meaning of the word gerund.
this troubles me. this troubles me greatly.
where do i go from here? how do i move forward?  mean honestly im going to grit my teeth and do it, but i feel like this is just a farce im trying to put on for the college. and the professor already know the script and have seen it done better. 
so now, all i can do is study, and try my best, knowing that my best might not be enough.
but my best is enough in my feild of main study, i can act and dance and that is what i need, i just have to pass these classes and move on, and passing im my mind and the mind of those that i look up to is enoguh? isn't it. can i finaly say to the greater good, this is enough? i mean come on, what casting director is going to search my college transcript and not cast me in a part because i got a D or a C in Anatpomy and Phsyology or i got a C in play readin and analysis.
none. acting is based on the moment in front of you, the moment happening now on th estage in the scene or in the audition. not the past score on the one cross study class you took in college for you minor.
so with out spell check or reserve i post this getting of my mind for now.
Hi my name is Matt Schaeflein
i have an inteligence score of 9
and a charisma score of 14

Burto

wow.
i just cant belive he is gone. we were friends for not a long time, and we never really kept in touch. it's just..... shit. he's gone. we never let anyone else be down, even if he himself was having a bad day. he treated his girl right.
it's just, now he's gone.
rest in peace my friend

Chapter 1

there are times when i just need to type. to let out a stream of ideas into a short box or in Word. i've written a few stories and plays. lol i used to actually write my poetry, but realized it was all over dramatic and emo and i needed to get a reality check so i stopped writing poetry. gods my poetry was bad. i like to listen to the sound of the typing, hear it's rythmic pattern. my pattern is a spastic jumble with random pauses and weird beats. my sister can put out this unending stream of clicks and beats. she also spent her free time in highschool learning how to do this, i did not. i got off on a tangent here. sorry. you know i do mean for this to be read, that's why it's on the internet. at some point ill invite people to read it. at this point its way to early/late for that kind of patience and work. i feel like shit. physicaly. i have worn my body out the past weekend, and i still wont give it a rest.. ill be up at 8:14 this morning far to tired to want to go to class and put myself through another day. i feel like shit. mentally. my brain and personality went on a trip this j-term, father than any class went physicaly. i reached the edges of my emotion and the depth of my mind, and we came out alive. this has given me a sense of no fear bravado that has lead to some complications. but those are being fixed. my heart is currently in a state of transition, due to the emotons and mind altering theater i just experianced. but in a way i find this good. this class gave me a new perspective and it challanged my views, and now i have to piece the shattered image of my mind back together this semester. it led to some shit, i won't denny that. i mean come on i tried to find love, or the lower less permanent for my generation calls "like". yeah mt brain went looking in the wrong place and played with fire, but we didnt loose any hair or skin, the fire just nicely kept me at bay. i like metaphors they make sense. see now this is the utter exhaustion setting in. im not hurt by being told the any form of "like" relationship is not going to ever happen. im just glad that it took the stress off the person. sure a little sadness for not getting what i wanted but im a big boy i can suck it up.  im sure ill find what i want at some point.
it's really fucking cold here.
this shit is ridicolus (not a typo)

In the Begining

First thing first.
this will no be updated on any form of schedule. this is for me when my brain cant take it and i need to stream  a story, or my day.
this is not a burn book or a secret look into my brain. i am not a philosopher. i'm a boy with a laptop and access to the internet.