A Mutation of Society

Today in the boredom of my week life i succumbed to a section of the Internet call Stumble upon.
to my surprise and joy there was a section where you personalize the sites you are sent to. i happily choose many boxes that described me. and on whimsy i selected art and photography.
to my intellectual and artistic joy i beheld beautiful images and works or arts that people crafted, captured and created.
as i lied in bed attempting to get some sleep. i began thinking about my reactions to art in general. people who know me well, know that in general i hate art museums and galleries. i find art boring and sleepy. yeah it's nice and pretty and old. but rarely do i get it, or understand the emotion behind it.  until tonight when i was thinking about urban art, and art that has no frames. Art that reaches out and touches the mortal world. sometimes literally. that art i get, that art stirs emotions and thoughts within me. and then i thought about why i like it. i guess it's because the reasons i just mentioned. and then something came to me, some of the stuff i liked best was tattoos or things painted on bodies. memories of myself being painted on, getting airbrush painted, and drawn on with pens flashed across my mind. i like becoming art. i like being drawn on, painted on, made-up. i like being art. which isn't that what i do with my acting? my dancing? i am art i move and emote in artistic ways and become art. and i love it. and i discovered a secret reason why i love it. because it changes my appearance. in society today we are all told on what is beautiful, or hot, or sexy, or handsome. and i myself am not a very attractive man. i mean sure i might sometimes be called cute, or adorable. but handsome, hot, sexy....no, never. and because of society it makes me sad. i am self conscious. it happens. i strive everyday that i venture out into public to present an image of myself that can be judged in a positive light. but in the rare cases that i get art created on, or with me and by body, i get that chance to hide my shortcomings behind that at. people see that art first and me second, they see the beauty that i, or the artist created, then they see me, but the images of the art are still forefront, making me more appealing, easier on the eyes.
am i ashamed of this? no i am not. i am human. hell I'm an American in the 21st century. i like it. I'm a mutation of the mainstream images of Sexy America. i got told so much that i accepted that I'm not Sexy America, and i strive to put, create, and allow art that is considered sexy, beautiful, handsome on and around me so the art and aforementioned adjectives can be associated with me. it's why i like airbrush artists, it's why i find tattoos attractive, it's why i dance, it's why i love theater.