Burto

wow.
i just cant belive he is gone. we were friends for not a long time, and we never really kept in touch. it's just..... shit. he's gone. we never let anyone else be down, even if he himself was having a bad day. he treated his girl right.
it's just, now he's gone.
rest in peace my friend

Chapter 1

there are times when i just need to type. to let out a stream of ideas into a short box or in Word. i've written a few stories and plays. lol i used to actually write my poetry, but realized it was all over dramatic and emo and i needed to get a reality check so i stopped writing poetry. gods my poetry was bad. i like to listen to the sound of the typing, hear it's rythmic pattern. my pattern is a spastic jumble with random pauses and weird beats. my sister can put out this unending stream of clicks and beats. she also spent her free time in highschool learning how to do this, i did not. i got off on a tangent here. sorry. you know i do mean for this to be read, that's why it's on the internet. at some point ill invite people to read it. at this point its way to early/late for that kind of patience and work. i feel like shit. physicaly. i have worn my body out the past weekend, and i still wont give it a rest.. ill be up at 8:14 this morning far to tired to want to go to class and put myself through another day. i feel like shit. mentally. my brain and personality went on a trip this j-term, father than any class went physicaly. i reached the edges of my emotion and the depth of my mind, and we came out alive. this has given me a sense of no fear bravado that has lead to some complications. but those are being fixed. my heart is currently in a state of transition, due to the emotons and mind altering theater i just experianced. but in a way i find this good. this class gave me a new perspective and it challanged my views, and now i have to piece the shattered image of my mind back together this semester. it led to some shit, i won't denny that. i mean come on i tried to find love, or the lower less permanent for my generation calls "like". yeah mt brain went looking in the wrong place and played with fire, but we didnt loose any hair or skin, the fire just nicely kept me at bay. i like metaphors they make sense. see now this is the utter exhaustion setting in. im not hurt by being told the any form of "like" relationship is not going to ever happen. im just glad that it took the stress off the person. sure a little sadness for not getting what i wanted but im a big boy i can suck it up.  im sure ill find what i want at some point.
it's really fucking cold here.
this shit is ridicolus (not a typo)

In the Begining

First thing first.
this will no be updated on any form of schedule. this is for me when my brain cant take it and i need to stream  a story, or my day.
this is not a burn book or a secret look into my brain. i am not a philosopher. i'm a boy with a laptop and access to the internet.